That night as I lay in bed about to sleep I look at my phone, Heather is trying to call me again, she only tried 4 times so far and Derek 6. I start to read the text messages, standard ‘I didn’t mean to’ and ‘we weren’t trying to hurt you’ along with the ‘I’m still your friend’ and the ever popular ‘I hope you’re okay’. Last thought before crashing out, ‘just don’t try to talk to me’.Next morning went fairly normal, Dad heading out the door to work, Mom making sure I’m okay with wearing ‘work clothes’ to school, my sister living on her phone with the constant harem that online friends gives to her. I however needed to leave early to catch a bus since my one friend would probably want to talk if he gave me a ride to school and I’m really not looking to get into a fight in my parent’s yard.At the stop I’m there with 4 freshmen who are in their own little worlds when a horn goes off and I hear a girl call “Guy!!” I glance over to see my sister’s friend, Korinna hanging out the passenger. What had I done to her? How could I have let her develop feelings for me? I waited for the blackness to abate and eventually I had strength to get up and get dressed. I contemplated dressing in the clothes that I wore yesterday, but then I decided that I ought, at least, to look presentable.I laughed mirthlessly, sneering at the vanity of it, but still I washed and shaved, brushed my teeth, taking solace in the familiar routine, trying to fool my subconscious that yes, indeed things were normal, that this wasn't my last day on earth.I dressed carefully in clean clothes and then I sat and thought about the arrangements that I had made. I tried to take comfort in the fact that Jenny would, at last, be free from economic hardship. Then I took one last look about me and retrieved the bottle of barbiturates from my overnight bag.So this is how it ends, I thought, in a dingy room in an equally dingy hotel. I sat on my bed and contemplated the bottle of pills that I held in front of me..
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